Don’t be a crab! Sometimes we can be crabby without realizing it.
No one is listening to me!
We all like to be heard. When a Type A, or aggressive, personality is in a room they often seek attention. The hardest thing to do is be aware that we are trying to overshadow or drown out another person. We can become crabby because we don’t understand a topic and we have to take a back seat.
There will be times when you are with someone who is involved in a conversation that is not really interesting to you.
Imagine a group of people who work together and you are there because you are with one of them. They get into a conversation about work related issues. It feels like they don’t realize you are there.
The trick is understanding this is an opportunity to learn. This is the time to listen and ask questions when you need clarification so that you can understand. It’s not the time to be telling anyone anything. Realize that their seeming to ignore you is actually a compliment. They trust you enough to have that conversation in your presence.
We all like to think we’re good listeners but are we? I have to catch myself sometimes. I’m one of those personalities.
Forget about what you want for now. Have the confidence to let others be in the limelight for a while. Interject on occasion to show that you are hearing what they say and learning from them. Eventually you will earn their trust and they may even work to include you in the conversation more often.
Understand that you are working to build relationships and networks. You have no intention of joining their business nor are they looking to join yours. That may or may not change over time but as you build those relationships and trust, you become referable!
Remember the story of crabs in a bucket. Are you the one leading the way out or are you one of those that continues to try and pull the others back down?
Be that person who is looking to raise others up. Instead of looking for faults, find the great things and focus on them. Over time, those people will become more and more attractive and surprise of all surprises, they will start to find ways to be in your presence and draw you into their conversations.
Make it a great day!
P.S. What am I thankful for today? I’m thankful for people I can learn from. I’m thankful for opportunities to be around people. I’m thankful for tolerant people.
What are you thankful for today?