Communication. Are you getting your message across?

Communication isn’t just words.  Sometimes the message is lost in the translation.  Just because you say it doesn’t make it so.  And, saying it louder doesn’t make it more so!  What can I do to help you understand what I’m trying to say?




criticismLanguage is more than English versus French or Chinese.  We communicate in far more ways than just the words we use.  Tone changes everything.  Do you remember your parents ever saying “Don’t you use that tone with me young lady!”?


How does it make you feel when someone is talking to you in a derogatory or belittling tone?  The resonance of their voice has increased and the tone is deeper.  It’s almost as if they grew twice as big and are towering over you.


You might consider reading Stephen Denning’s book The Secret Language of Leadership for some great advice on how to choose words that are more inviting and in a manner that is less confusing.



man-with-thumb-downWhat about your body position?  Have you ever heard someone say “Get out of my face!”?


Where and how you are standing, literally, can change the whole meaning of the message you are trying to deliver.  Fight or flight is a natural instinct.  Are you threatening me?


Imagine that you are standing talking with someone and all of a sudden you reach a sensitive point in a contentious discussion.  They cross their arms, lean toward you and the muscles in their jaw tighten.  Are you focused on the message or are you now trying to figure out what they are going to do next?


Mark Bowden has written a great book called Winning Body Language for Sales Professionals.  He has some amazing advice on how to be aware of how you are being perceived through your body language.



3D-Women-Question-02Having a good handle on why you do what you do can lead to much greater trust on the part of the people you are trying to communicate with.


Take some time to understand yourself and what drives you.  Why does your message matter and who does it matter to?  When your message comes from the heart, it’s more likely to be heard.  Be careful not to become so passionate that you overwhelm the people you are talking to!


I highly recommend reading the book by Simon Sinek, “Start With Why”.  The video below reflects the concepts from his book and Simon discusses why it’s important to understand people.  Especially in business.


Simon Sinek: If You Don’t Understand People, You Don’t Understand Business from 99U on Vimeo.


Say what you mean and mean what you say!

Take the time to:

  • Understand yourself.
  • Clarify your goals and objectives.
  • Identify your audience.
  • Learn the audience’s language, verbal and non-verbal.

Now you should be able to effectively communicate your message and get it across.  Get out there and say what you mean.  Make sure you mean what you say.


Make it a great day!



P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for beautiful spring sunshine.  I’m thankful for people who take the time to listen regardless of whether or not they agree me.  I’m thankful for differences.


What are you thankful for today?