There’s no win in comparison!

The comparison trap.

Comparison.  We all do it to try and figure out if we are OK.  As long as we are comparing ourselves to others, we’ll never be satisfied.

We all want more “er” in our lives.  I wish I was smarter, prettier, luckier and/or richer.  Look at all the “er’s” in that list.  Now, think about this.  If your child came to you and said “I wish I was prettier or smarter” what would you say to them?

Barry holding his sonIt’s like I used to say to people, all babies are ugly, except mine!  Think about it, a newborn baby has just gone through a lot of stress.  They’re covered in God knows what and usually made to cry just make sure they are breathing.  They really don’t look good at that particular moment but MY children were beautiful the moment they were born because nothing else mattered.  I knew who they were, a gift from God.  There is no comparison because we are all born unique individuals.

Why compare?

God doesn’t compare us.  Our parents don’t compare us.  We don’t compare our children.  So, why do WE compare ourselves to others?

I am not my neighbour.  I’m not you.  We may or may not have the same goals and objectives.  Because we have different goals and objectives, our results differ.  Goals and objectives create our road maps in this life.  Goals and objectives are very individual and personal.  Therefore, we can’t realistically “measure up” against anyone else.

Measure against yourself, no one else.

Man walkingSet your own goals and objectives within your own personal value system.  Don’t try to live up to someone else’s.

Let’s say that you make a decision to make 10 calls a day.  Up to now, you have been making 2.  The next day, your friend made 5 calls and you made 3.  Who is more successful?  You are!

Why?  Because your friend has been making 5 calls a day for a week.  There is no change for them.  You, on the other hand, just improved by one call.  Continue to add one call per day and you have now compounded your success.

Your friend has made no change and therefor isn’t nearly as successful as you are.  They are stuck while you are moving forward.  There we go with comparison again.  Does that make you feel any better?  I know I don’t.  But, if I compare myself against me a year ago, now I feel better.  There’s the comparison!

Set your own standard

In order to be able to make a realistic comparison, you need a starting point.

Take the time to plan.  Establish where your starting point is – where you are today.  Decide where you want to be, maybe one year from now to get started.  Identify what you are ready and willing to do in order to achieve your objectives.  Lay out the steps to get there.  Develop a tracking system (there is no comparison if you don’t have a measure).  Now, get started.

Now you can measure your true level of success by a comparison of where you started, where you are and where you are headed.  What anyone else is doing or achieving isn’t relevant to your success.  Success is based on who, what and where you want to be.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”  Theodore Roosevelt

Now, get out there and define your own success!


Make it a great day,


P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for my health.  I’m thankful for great books.  I’m thankful for the support of family and friends.

What are you thankful for today?