There has to be balance in your life for you to be happy. We all have the same amount of time in a day for work, and for other activities. If your schedule is too full, you aren’t going to be happy. Yet; you may feel like you have to say yes to everything that comes in your direction.
Learning to say no is going to make you much happier! It can take some practice, but the trick is to make sure you don’t let guilt get to you. This doesn’t mean you never pitch in and help with anything. However, it means that you carve out time for rest, for fun, and for your other commitments.
Take Part in Activities that Mean Something to You
When you are asked to take part in an event, think about how you will feel about it. If the activity is something that is meaningful to you, then help with it. For example, if you are asked to help with a fundraiser for the community that could be dear to your heart.
When the activity is something you are interested in, you will be motivated to continue with it. You will also get a great deal of personal satisfaction from how you have contributed to that cause. Doing so is going to help you feel very happy.
One way to get your time back is to create a daily planner. Mark out segments of time on that planner each day. Unless an emergency comes along, don’t fill that time up with anything else. If you are asked to help with something that you really don’t want to commit to due to a lack of time or other reasons, speak up.
No Explanation Necessary
The most common reason why people don’t say no is that they don’t have a good explanation. Those that are asking can be very good at getting people to say yes. For example, they may make you feel guilty that you aren’t going to take part in what they are asking.
Others will try to flatter you, in order to get you to reply that you will do so. For example, they may say that you are so creative,and that is why they would like you to be in charge of marketing for the fundraiser.
You don’t have to give an explanation when it comes to saying no. Say it politely, thank them for asking you, and then stay firm with your no reply. You don’t have to give any reason at all about why you can’t take part in what they are asking.
People Pleaser Mentality
Part of the reason it is tough to say no, is that we tend to have a people pleaser mentality. We want people to like us, and we often assume saying yes will encourage that. It may in some scenarios, but you have to draw a line. If you are being pulled in all directions, you aren’t going to be happy.
You aren’t going to be able to dedicate enough time for rest, for work, and for all of your commitments. Instead, you become resentful of what you have committed to. You may complete it, but you aren’t going to be enjoying it. Instead, you have a chip on your shoulder. When that project is done, you feel relief rather than personal satisfaction.
Don’t be evasive about why you are saying no. Don’t give them any idea that you are thinking about it, or that you may cave in. Simply say that you are already taking on too much and you have make a promise to yourself not to take on anything new right now.
They should have enough respect for you to take that as a final no. If someone tries to continue to persist, they should fall into that category of people you need to think about cutting out of your life. They can zap your energy and prevent you from being as happy as you could be.