DM or PM, How Private Is It?

DM (Direct Message) or PM (Private Message) is only as private as the sender and receiver want it to be. By the way, the same can be said for email!

DM (Direct Message) or PM (Private Message)

DM or messageFacebook and Twitter both have a DM option, Facebook Messenger or Twitter Direct Message.

One of the challenges is that both have the option to create a group message. Sometimes we forget it was a group message and use the same message to respond to an individual. Oops! Everyone saw that message. Make sure you know who is receiving it.

How private is it really?

Some things to remember:

Pick up the phone to arrange a meeting! Or, connect on FaceTime or whatever it takes to see the person you are talking to. I would suggest a phone call to win a face to face conversation would be best when something is really important.


We sometimes forget that email is not really private. For example, many forget that if you send work related email through a personal account, it can be subject to Freedom of Information requests. NEVER, EVER send business email from or to a personal account. Just ask Hilary Clinton!

Even if you don’t care if your message is received properly, you should care that it can come back and be made part of the public record.

Words Matter!

My Own Meeting graphicCommunicate responsibly. Sure, there are times you won’t care that you offend or upset someone. They hurt you, why shouldn’t you hurt them? First off, two wrongs don’t make a right. Secondly, although we have freedom of expression, we don’t have the right to slander or libel someone.

Words, whether in a DM or face to face can hurt deeply. At least when we are facing someone, we can get a better perception of their intent giving us a chance to clarify before something gets blown way out of proportion.

When your message is important, do it face to face. Too far away? Travel digitally. There are many tools these days that can bridge the gap when you can’t go and physically knock on the door.

Communication isn’t that difficult in a technical sense, the greatest issue is having the guts to face someone for a difficult conversation. DM me to get my attention, call me to arrange a meeting, look me in the eye so I can see your whole message.

If you ever want to talk, DM me! Click the image below to get to my other site and use the social media links from there!

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Make it a great day,


P.S. What am I thankful for today? I’m thankful for you! I’m thankful for online conferencing. I’m thankful for every new day.

What are you thankful for today?

Is your messaging getting through or are you hearing what YOU want to hear?


3D-Women-Wave-03When communicating with people, messaging becomes important while trying to explain a thought or idea.  Rarely can an idea stand on it’s own.  People need to understand what the idea is but most of all, understand why and how it applies to them.

Do you understand your own message?  Is the messaging designed for you or the person on the receiving end?

Design the message for the person on the receiving end.  Be clear in your own mind exactly what message you are trying to get across.  You can’t expect them to understand it when you’re not sure yourself.    


In my experience, there are at least three generations in the workplace.  Each has their own way of processing information.

Boomers (generally the over 60 crowd) typically prefer to have paper in hand to read.  Few are very active in social media so “tweeting” to them goes unnoticed.  You’re more likely to get attention with a direct phone call or in person.  Most don’t even care for email that much.  Doing a presentation?  Leave the PowerPoint behind.  They want to hear from you.

Why does it matter-webGeneration X (roughly the 40 – 60 crowd) is a little more receptive to modern technology but still not totally convinced.  As a result, we still like the paper and phone but you might get away with email.  By all means bring your projector and PowerPoint.

Millenials or Gen Y and under (Under 40) communicate very differently.  Be brief, be bright, be gone.  They move very fast and it’s hard to keep their attention very long.  You are more likely to catch them with a direct “Tweet” than you are to get them on the phone.  As an example, my son posted on Facebook when he arrived in Mexico because he knew it was expensive to call and there is no way his mother would let him get away with just a quick hello.

You have a message you want to communicate and you need to reach out to all the generations.  In past, you could buy an ad or produce a pretty pamphlet.  Today, you might do that but it’s only reaching a small demographic.  If you want to reach them all, make sure you are clear on why it matters to them, and communicate your message in a way they will be open to receiving and will understand.

Communicate, don’t tell.  Use channels they will “listen” to:

Does anyone remember when your parents complained they couldn’t understand the words to the songs you listened to?  It’s no longer just songs.  You need to appeal to all the senses and use language they understand.

Remember, you are communicating with at least three generations and we haven’t even touched on diversity!










Make it a great day!


P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for technology.  I’m thankful for diversity.  I’m thankful for every grey hair! (The ones that are left.)

What are you thankful for today?

Communication. Are you getting your message across?

Communication isn’t just words.  Sometimes the message is lost in the translation.  Just because you say it doesn’t make it so.  And, saying it louder doesn’t make it more so!  What can I do to help you understand what I’m trying to say?




criticismLanguage is more than English versus French or Chinese.  We communicate in far more ways than just the words we use.  Tone changes everything.  Do you remember your parents ever saying “Don’t you use that tone with me young lady!”?


How does it make you feel when someone is talking to you in a derogatory or belittling tone?  The resonance of their voice has increased and the tone is deeper.  It’s almost as if they grew twice as big and are towering over you.


You might consider reading Stephen Denning’s book The Secret Language of Leadership for some great advice on how to choose words that are more inviting and in a manner that is less confusing.



man-with-thumb-downWhat about your body position?  Have you ever heard someone say “Get out of my face!”?


Where and how you are standing, literally, can change the whole meaning of the message you are trying to deliver.  Fight or flight is a natural instinct.  Are you threatening me?


Imagine that you are standing talking with someone and all of a sudden you reach a sensitive point in a contentious discussion.  They cross their arms, lean toward you and the muscles in their jaw tighten.  Are you focused on the message or are you now trying to figure out what they are going to do next?


Mark Bowden has written a great book called Winning Body Language for Sales Professionals.  He has some amazing advice on how to be aware of how you are being perceived through your body language.



3D-Women-Question-02Having a good handle on why you do what you do can lead to much greater trust on the part of the people you are trying to communicate with.


Take some time to understand yourself and what drives you.  Why does your message matter and who does it matter to?  When your message comes from the heart, it’s more likely to be heard.  Be careful not to become so passionate that you overwhelm the people you are talking to!


I highly recommend reading the book by Simon Sinek, “Start With Why”.  The video below reflects the concepts from his book and Simon discusses why it’s important to understand people.  Especially in business.


Simon Sinek: If You Don’t Understand People, You Don’t Understand Business from 99U on Vimeo.


Say what you mean and mean what you say!

Take the time to:

  • Understand yourself.
  • Clarify your goals and objectives.
  • Identify your audience.
  • Learn the audience’s language, verbal and non-verbal.

Now you should be able to effectively communicate your message and get it across.  Get out there and say what you mean.  Make sure you mean what you say.


Make it a great day!



P.S.  What am I thankful for today?  I’m thankful for beautiful spring sunshine.  I’m thankful for people who take the time to listen regardless of whether or not they agree me.  I’m thankful for differences.


What are you thankful for today?